AI Needs a Makeover

Ok, I'm a reality TV junkie, I admit it. I'm probably the only person that records both Girlicious and Ultimate Fighter.

Never have I been less interested however, than this year's American Idol.

Sure, it's still #1 in the ratings. Of course, it's still fun making fun of Paula (I'm smashed out of my mind) Abdul but they need some help.

Coincidentally a collegue and I were discussing this at lunch and she pointed me to a great article by Mark Harris from EW.com

The link to the full article is above but he had 7 really good points I thought I would share for anyone that is as bored as I am.

1. Tone down the product placement.
Tell Ford and Coke that if they want to buy an ad, they can buy an ad. Not redecorate the red room with bottle silhouettes, and not drag the contestants through another cruddy commercial while all lyric-botching evidence implies they should be rehearsing. American Idol is still TV's top show; would the whole enterprise really cave in if Fox stopped treating it like a QVC infomercial?

2. Devise a dignified exit strategy for Paula and Randy.
It's time. His autopilot appraisals — ''It was just all right for me,'' ''You worked it out,'' ''You did your thing'' — constitute as slothful a dereliction of duty as her inability to...well, I suddenly forgot my thoughts about Paula, but you look beautiful tonight, and you are always...so connected to the specialness that is...what you bring to you. (Cue applause. And call 911!) Yes, their portrayals of themselves are very convincing. (They're acting, right?) But no tears, since they both have enough money to keep themselves in bling and small dogs until the rapture. Now how about two judges who can listen to the contestants sing and offer quick, sharp critiques? No whining that it's hard — we all do it at home every week. Oh, and ban the judges from dress rehearsals. They should form their opinions at the same time we do.

3. Pick fewer — and fresher — ''mentors.''
Dolly Parton rules, but did so many of this season's greats have to be older than Dumbledore? When American Idol becomes about sixtysomethings coaching teenagers on how to sing ''Cracklin' Rosie,'' a rather large swath of pop-music history is being ignored. Conversely, more challenging, inventively themed hours might yield some surprises — after all, Kelly Clarkson, the Meryl Streep of Idol, broke through on Big Band Night, and Fantasia Barrino essentially won by shattering the show's formula with ''Summertime.'' Similar changeups might reward competitors who like to explore music, not just make pretty sounds. Speaking of which...

4. Raise the minimum contestant age to 18.
It's never fun to see a stage kid's deer-in-the-headlights look (remember Kevin ''Chicken Little'' Covais?). David Archuleta has a beautiful voice, but rarely has a talented singer been less fun to watch; too young to make (and too timid to explain) his own choices, he looks like a kid quaking outside the principal's office every time he's judged. In a few years, he'll be a better singer with more to say for himself; meanwhile, the High School Musical vibe around him panders to the speed-texting teen demographic at the expense of everyone else. Oh, damn it, did I just write something mean about David Archuleta? America, flag, God, freedom, the troops! I hope I won you back, because I have three points left.

5. Stop the medley madness!
If Idol is meant to create future pop stars, it's time to rethink those elimination-night up-with-people medleys. We know you have an hour to fill, so how about filling it by revealing the actual vote totals, from top to bottom? Producers claim this would ruin the suspense (because right now, NOBODY SUSPECTS the two Davids have been getting a lot of votes); on the contrary, being able to track the progress of your favorite might energize the constituencies of some middle- or bottom-dwelling singers. In any case, those Brady Bunch Variety Hourgroup sing-alongs are credibility grenades tossed at the winner's future career. Sex tapes on TMZ are less mortifying.

6. The Delta Sigma Bimbo hand-waving mosh pit must go. Forever.

7. Less talking, more singing.
Why are song performances only 90 seconds? Are you looking for someone who can actually sing, or just a pretty robot who can race to an unmotivated money-note climax in record time?

Now personally I would add

8. More Hot Girls
Why on earth would I watch the battle of the David's? Battle of the Cindy's on the other hand...